yoga31733

Some people dont feel safe in love unless its complete, absolute, and unconditional. Others (me, for one) only feel safe in love when it isnt. I feel safest when I, and those who love with me, know that love can never be complete, absolute, and unconditional, that unconditional love is only unconditional under certain conditions. If those certain conditions can be relied upon to last a long time, then love can feel unconditional, but it never really is.

This kind of romantic pragmatism can apply not only to loving relationships but to all the things we love. The question we all face is how to love in a world where everything changes; how to embrace life even though you dont get to keep it. For me the answer lies in romanticynicism.

Romanticynicism is a commitment to both the romantics yearning for happily ever after and the cynics detachment and indifference. (Not haughty indifference. Thats a recent addition to what started out as a respected school of Greek philosophy that cultivated neutrality.) Its not a hybrid or blending of the two. Its an extended stretch into both the warm fuzzies of the heart and the cool rationality of the head.

Either romanticism or cynicism alone is dangerous. Romantics are easily hurt. Cynics are readily hurtful. Averaged theyre bland. People who are mildly romantic and mildly cynical are mild. But if you can yoga-stretch yourself into a deep commitment to the romantic and a firm commitment to the cynical, even though the tension imposes some pain and un-resolvability upon yourself, the resulting state is bittersweet, vivid, and true.

The Quakers say, Build to last a hundred years; be ready to leave tomorrow.

The Buddhists say, Though my heart is on fire, my eyes are cold as ashes.

A New york times editor said, Keep an open mind but dont let your brains spill out.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said, The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to act.

Shakespeare ends a dying mans love sonnet to his young lover, This thou perceivest, that makes thy love more strong, to love that well that thou must leave ere long. Stronger love, not weaker. To burn with love while knowing that it too shall pass.

To me, romanticynicism seems the only way to love safely, sanely, and generously. Generously because sometimes the most loving thing to do is to leave someone alone. True love requires a broad repertoire and the pragmatic flexibility to adapt to whats needed. True love cant be achieved with adoration aloneat least not these days.

These days humanity knows more about itself, more about the long view than ever before. Culturally, weve been around the block a few times. Weve seen all kinds of things. Our explanations are becoming more reliable and accurate. And because things are changing faster than ever, theres more evidence that what you love wont hold still for long. Its harder to be a pure romantic these days, believing we can cling to anyone or anything as if it will last forever. Even our sincerest beliefs wont hold still. Our loss of navet makes us conviction-impaired. Were naturally surrendering into the cynical, detached from what will soon disappear anyway.

Yet theres also more reason to be romantic. At least in rich countries, were accustomed to things going well. Our advanced market economy encourages romance, a belief that products, services, and people can make us happy ever after. Weve enjoyed reliable technological progress for long enough that we assume the ideal is forthcomingwhat isnt perfect now will soon be.

More reasons to hope; more reasons to be suspicious of hope. Our technological success has ingrained in us faith and confidence in the potential for happy endings, while our experience gives us more reasons to doubt that the endings we see will be happy.

Being torn between romance and cynicism is bound to feel unstable, but its also an admirably accurate way to interpret what life has to offer. Its like irony, the cultural movement whose motto is, No seriously, Im just kidding. Like irony, romanticynicism can be turned into glib escapism, as though a baldly stated paradox turns every utterance into nonsense. stretching to put a foot in both camps can be a recipe for ungroundedness. But firm footing in both makes for an honest, profound way of life.

Id recommend romanticynicism to anyone, but I suspect that it comes naturally to some of us and not at all to others. Some people simply seem born to either believe or disbelieve. And certainly some circumstances make it harder to be romanticynical than others. I suspect my temperament and circumstances conspire to make romanticynicism the obvious solution.

I know people who also think it is the obvious solution, but dont pursue it because their temperaments wont complypeople who by mid-life recognize the flaws in a purely romantic view of love but just cant help falling and then getting burnt and then falling and getting burnt again. They get sadder but not wiserand they know it but cant figure out what to do about it.

The jurys out on whether we can adapt to the ironic age weve created. Romanticynicism seems the adaptive frame of mind for it, but one that some of us just cant get to from here.

Heres the full Shakespeare sonnet:

Sonnet 73

That time of year thou mayst in me behold When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang Upon those boughs which shake against the cold, Bare ruind choirs, where late the sweet birds sang. In me thou seest the twilight of such day As after sunset fadeth in the west, Which by and by black night doth take away, Deaths second self, that seals up all in rest.

In me thou seest the glowing of such fire, That on the ashes of his youth doth lie, As the death-bed whereon it must expire, Consumed with that which it was nourishd by. This thou perceivst, which makes thy love more strong, To love that well which thou must leave ere long.

Jeremy Sherman Ph.D. teaches life and social sciences, is executive director of the UC Berkeley Project on Emergent Dynamics, a program to develop a comprehensive theory on how purpose, goal setting and the pursuit of success emerged from a universe governed only by the laws of phyics and chemistry--a program to put goal-seeking behavior in a fully scientific context. Jeremy writes an article a week for the free e-newsletter and podcast "Mind Readers Dictionary: Tips for reading between the lines with greater comprehension."

Jeremy Sherman, Ph.D.
September 01, 2006
http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com
js@mindreadersdictionary.com

A world-class destination, the Disney Area is brimming with attractions and its biggest crowd-pulling attraction is its larger-than-life theme parks. A trip to the Magic Kingdom in the Walt Disney World Resort is a must where you can experience thrilling roller coaster rides, enjoy the signature Disney parade; dine with the Disney characters and of course shop in the World of Disney, the largest Disney character shop.

A night out at Pleasure Island astounds you with its wide range of pubs, dance clubs, restaurants, nightclubs etc. Dont forget to duck into the old-fashioned ice-cream parlor for your favorite scoop. A trip to Disney World is incomplete without watching the fabulous display of firecrackers that light up the night sky.

Get into action at the world-famous Universal Studios, the number one movie and TV based theme park in the world. Feel the goose-bumps in the various thrilling rides; dine in the worlds largest Hard Rock Cafe and make your wildest fantasies come true through the action-packed Terminator 3-D adventures. To have more of that spiraling fun head to Islands of Adventure to take a ride in the Incredible Hulk Coaster; catch the stunning show, IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth at Epcot and encounter creatures of the wild in Animal Kingdom and Busch Gardens. Disney Area is also known for its shopping malls and massive retail stores.

Shoppers should not miss a visit to Central Floridas largest and most popular shopping destination, the Florida Mall, which has more than 250 stores. Those keen on getting a good bargain should straight away head to Orlando Premium Outlets or Lake Buena Vista Factory Stores.

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Back in Pennsylvania in 1967, the Coleman Company decided to begin building folding camping trailers for the sudden increase in families traveling in recreation vehicles. Over the years, Coleman Campers were known for their innovative design and engineering, high-quality manufacturing, and top-of-the-line customer service.

By 1979, Coleman campers were the best selling campers in the United States. However, Coleman campers are now known as Fleetwood Camping Trailers due to the acquisition of Coleman Recreational Vehicles by Fleetwood Enterprises, Inc. in 1989. Despite the change in name, these campers are still some of the best in the business.

These campers are one of the safest folding camping trailers available. Each Fleetwood, or Coleman camper, comes equipped with tons of safety features.

All campers come with a dependable posi-lock lift system, a rugged tubular steel frame and bumper, heavy duty leaf spring suspension, durable galvanized steel side body panels, heavy duty full-perimeter aluminum body and bed rails, a reliable roof with air conditioner prep, electric brakes, positive locking safety chains, five-bolt wheels, entry step, a smoke detector, a carbon monoxide detector, propane detector, and a fire extinguisher.

These features are just a few. It is important to know that these manufacturers are extremely serious about your safety.

Enjoying a camping trip or road trip in one of these campers is like being in a home away from home. Some of the standard features of the best Coleman campers are a 3-way refrigerator, full storage upper galley, wide one-piece screen door, spare tire, mount, and lug wrench for flats, power converter with charger, 12V interior lighting, 12V electric water pump, exterior patio light, interior and exterior 110V outlets, and a carry-out free-standing dining table.

Additionally, most models also feature auto-shut off interior lights for setting down camper, clear window vinyl, lined window curtains, lined -bed privacy curtains, decorative valence, and supportive high-density foam mattresses.

The Coleman camper is a great alternative to camping with a traditional tent. When you go on your camping trip using a folding camper, you can still enjoy nature and the great outdoors without sleeping on the ground where insects could potentially crawl all over you, or even bite you.

Remember, sleeping in the camper is much safer than sleeping in the outdoors. Additionally, when you go camping with a trailer or camper, you also do not need to worry about any potential changes in the weather. You will be sleeping just as comfortably in a rainstorm as you would on a clear balmy night inside the trailer. In a tent, you would be soaked to the bone, or sleeping in the car.

A Coleman camper is a great alternative to the traditional tent for any camping trip. Attaching the trailer, or camper, to your truck is very easy and makes your road trip so much more convenient. Additionally, with the camper, you have more versatility as to where you can enjoy your camping trip. You also will be able to enjoy the comforts of being at home while still enjoying a relaxing weekend in nature.

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